Peter's Story Disordered Eating San Jose


I was a heavy kid growing up. Some boys found solace in sports, or girls, or in just bullying me because of how I looked. I found that I could lose myself in comic books, ancient history and food.

By the time I was sixteen, I was six-foot-six and two hundred and sixty-five pounds.

At first I didn't mind this look I had accumulated from years to two cheeseburgers and a coke every day, but then I began noticing myself in the mirror.

Through the popular medias of humanity, throughout time itself, BOTH men and women have been told to look a certain way.

Ladies must be trim, demure, fragile, and just recently, waif-like and/or busty. I've actually been told by some of my lady friends that I'm lucky in that I don't have to worry about society telling me how to look. They couldn't be more wrong!

Men have always been given the ideal image of the strong biceps, the flat and rippling belly, and the powerful thigh. After years of reading comic books and looking at ancient Greek sculptures during my childhood, I found myself wanting to look like that.

To look like Adonis, to be seen like Superman.

A change had to happen.

I began to starve myself.

I went from 265 pounds to 185 pounds in a startlingly short period of time.

I taught myself to hate food.

This was the only answer to me in that I didn't have to spend money on nutritional supplements or pay horrendous gym fees.

I became very ill. It seemed like every changing of the seasons I caught some sort of disease that would almost kill me.

But, I was getting thinner. I noticed people's attitudes towards me changing. Girls were actually wanting me, and, in one particular case, fighting over me! This was bitchin'!

I met my girlfriend of six years in college during this period. Imagine my friends' surprise when they noticed that she was a full-figured woman.

"I thought you were into thin!"

"Only with myself," I'd reply.

One night, after an intimate session of sex with her, she wrapped her arms around me and asked, "Would you mind if we try it with me on top, next time?"

"Why?" I asked.

"Because your pelvis is too sharp." That's when I noticed the two, quarter-sized bruises on either side of her pelvis.

"Don't you like me this way?" I asked dejectedly.

"I love you." she said. "No matter how thin or fat your; as long as you're healthy!"

Like an arrow of kryptonite, my inner image of Superman/Adonis had been slain that night.

She was right. I was a skinny, frail old man wrapped around a young one.

I began to gain some "healthy" weight. Muscle and bone mass was what I needed, and that's what I got.

I'm still concerned about my weight these days; but like my lover said, "just so long as I'm healthy."

206 lbs. and healthy