An Exchange Student's Story Disordered Eating ????????

I am 18 years old and I am an exchange student from Europe. I have been living in the states since August and I am going back in May. Fortunately. Because ever since I have been here, I started to have troubles with my eating habits. Friends teased me that I would get fat here because the US has no eat culture at all. So I was very cautious about that in the beginning. But because I am very homesick and having problems with my host father, I started to eat like an animal. I do not have a lot of friends and I am a lot by myself. That gives me numerous opportunities to binge.

I am not sure if I am really suffering from an eating disorder because I am not consuming as much food as I read in other's stories. But what I do know is that I use food as a comfort. I always expect to find something good after eating tons of chocolate, for instance, but I never feel better. On the contrary.

I wrote about this to my mum and she promised me to help me as soon as I get back home. But what if it does not go away. What if I will always have to struggle with food for the rest of my life. I used to think that people with eating disorders were superficial because they want to look pretty. But it is not about that. Boys think I am attractive so why should I be so consumed with what I eat and do not eat. I just miss being loved and I hope everything will be all right once I am back with my mum again.