Christie's Story Bulimia Nervosa California

The stories I read that were written by women who struggle with bulimia gave words to my situation and allowed me to realize that I am not alone.

I have had a problem with bingeing and purging for over 20 years. I am often overcome with the compulsion to over eat and "get rid of it" in the kitchen sink. My desire to be thin and accepted verses my chosen method of stress reduction through eating comfort food overwhelm me. I often feel ashamed of myself and out of control. My compulsion to over eat and throw -up may only occur once a week as I've gotten older. I've become more accepting of my body, and more confident about myself. But the bulimia monster is always there. Especially when food tastes so good and I over eat. When I'm full, I don't even need to stick my finger down my throat anymore; the food just comes up on its own. This frightens me because I'm concerned about the damage my stomach acid might be causing in my esophagus.

I keep thinking I can control this and stop on my own. I'm too filled with shame and embarrassment to tell my doctor. I'm amazed that I'm even sending this e-mail.