Devon's Story Bulimia Nervosa

My name's Devon, iÕm 18, and i live in central Oregon. For the past year, i have become obsessed with my weight. For about 3 years, i've maintained being around 125-130 or so at 5 foot 5, but last summer i suddenly realized that i was "a little chubby", or "soft". IÕm a big britney spears fan and so i made her body my goal. I bought some diet pills, worked out, ate hardly, and in about 2 months i went from 135 pounds down to 119. It felt so great! Right around then, i started having binges, and it seemed i couldnÕt not eat anymore. Purging was hard, so i started using a lot of laxatives. Its so gross, but i felt that this was my "fix". Even though i knew i would only lose water weight, it gave me a sense of comfort.

Then a lot of problems started happening for me, lost my car, and dropped out of school because of my depression, which i still very much in. My weight went back up to around 138. That's when i was finally able to start purging. That was last november when i had my first successful purge. I wasnÕt afraid to tell my family what i was doing, and i did. But, they didnÕt believe me and though i wanted attention. All the while, i was still taking diet pills, metabolife, stacker, hydroxy-cut....currently iÕm taking Exendarine-EFX (getting great results!!!) anything that contained ephedra. I would take them in the masses sometimes too! Even i knew of the dangers. I still purge once or twice a week, sometimes more. IÕm still very moody, and very depressed. I have made some bad decisions when it comes to my relationships with family and friends, more even with guys.

IÕm trying to pull everything in my life back together, everything but my obsession with the "ideal look and weight", because for me its' become a lifestyle. I know i should see someone, but its as simple as i'm too stubborn. I donÕt know what to do anymore. Thankx for listening!!!!!!!! ~Devon

signed anonymous99