Robyn's Story Bulimia Nervosa

Ok...well my eating disorder...bulimia...first started when I was in the 7th grade. It wasn't after every meal and I would never over-eat...I just always felt so horrible after I ate so I would occasionally self-induce my vomiting. It made me happy...but that summer I read about all the side-effects it could have so I stopped. Then my 8th grade year I again did it some...but not to any great extent.

Then came the freshmen year in high school. That's where I am at now in my life. I'm 15 years old, and pretty much a normal teenager. I have great friends, I play soccer for my high school, I've got wonderful family members, I go to parties, you know...pretty much the normal things. I get depressed though. I used to be so bright and peppy...a know...very, very out-going. I still am these things, but now I get depressed more often.

Bulimia is my escape. I love it. Sometimes I wake up and I want to eat...just a I can purge. It makes me happy. With bulimia I'm releasing all these bad feelings and emotions that no one else really understands. In a way I want my mom and dad to find out so I can get help. I do need help...I realize that. I know I can't do it on my own. Now I vomit after every meal no matter how little the food intake was.

My stomach hurts and my throat hurts all the time. I'm weak. The problem is, I depend so much on my bulimia. I want it, I need it, I love it. I know it has control over me and someday I'll have to get help, but right now it's what makes me happy. It's the only thing I look forward to. It was really nice to share my story and maybe it will touch or help someone in some way. Thanks for listening.