|Tina's Story||Bulimia Nervosa||North Carolina|
I started vomiting up my food just about a month ago, for what reasons I'm not sure. I'm 15 years old, I'll be 16 in a few months. I'm 5'7, and about 120 lbs. I'm going to be a sophomore in high school once the summer's over. I had already lost about 15 lbs. this past year, mostly due to sports and puberty. But I'm still not happy with what I see in the mirror, I feel as though I look like I've barely changed, and I don't think any of my friends seem to notice the difference either.
One day I had just eaten a sandwich, some M&M's, and a piece of bread and butter. Weird combo huh? Well it didn't settle right it my stomach, and it made me feel really hefty. I wanted to get rid of it, and quickly. I had heard about bulimia, and how people actually threw-up their food. I used to think it was disgusting, and I still do, but I had no other choice. As I stood over the toilet in my bathroom I was terrified! I didn't know what I was doing! But once I stuck my fingers down my throat and I finally threw-up, I felt kinda sick, but overall it felt pretty good. The next day I decided to do it again after dinner, except I did it in a plastic bag in my room, so no one would suspect anything if I was in bathroom too long. And boy does it take a long time!! To this day there are sometimes when I try to throw-up after meals, and I'll try for about 10 to 15 minutes, and I'll barely get anything.
No one knows about my problem, not my friends, or my family. Although for some reason I'm just dying to tell someone! I guess that's why I'm writing this. Overall the affects from this method of weight-loss seems to be ok...so far. I mean, I get a lil bit of a soar throat and my stomach hurts right afterwards, but I do see the weight loss. I'm not the kinda person that eats a shit load of food right before, like most bulimics. I just throw-up the big meals, such as dinner. And this is not the cause of depression, or family problems, I'm just a normal teenager.
To tell you the truth I'm not really sure if I'm truly bulimic, I mean, I'm sure that if I wanted to stop I could. And I want to stop, just as soon as I'm happy with the way I look.....I'm just not sure when that will be.......
thanx for listening,