Erin's Story Bulimia Nervosa

I think it all started when a year ago, when I was in eighth grade. At the beginning of the year, I weighed 147 pounds. I had never really thought of myself as fat, but I knew I wasn't the skinniest person in the world. Sometime during that year, I started to lose weight. I didn't do it on purpose, it just sort of happened. By the end of the year, I had lost about 10 pounds without meaning to. My friends were starting to notice and were telling how much better I looked. It still didn't occur to me that there was anything different. When I learned that I lost 10 pounds, I just dismissed it as the scale was wrong.

It was over the summer problems started. I began to realize how much better it was to be thin and I felt a lot happier about myself. When I started high school, I was down to 127 pounds and was feeling great until I realized how much thinner everyone was compared to me. It was then that I realized I wanted to lose more weight.

My friends started to get concerned about me. They kept making me eat and one brought me to an eating disorder clinic. They thought that would cure me. It didn't help any. I knew everything about eating disorders and I knew exactly what I was doing. I spent a lot of time learning about them and figuring out new ways to avoid weight. It wasn't until a few months ago I became bulimic. I don't think it's full-blown bulimia. I don't binge, it's just that whenever I eat, I tend to throw up.

A few of my friends know about my problems, but I only told the ones I knew wouldn't try to get me help. My best friend and I got into a fight over it because she found out I was keeping secrets from her and now she doesn't trust me. It seems like eating is screwing up my life, but I can't stop because I don't want to gain weight. I'm afraid to get help. Please if you want to lose weight, don't go down this path.