Your story describes me.....2 1/2 years ago. I had always been a "chubby" kid. I felt that my family didn't love me either, I believed that they just felt sorry for me. Right now, I'm really out of control. Every time I eat, I binge..and then barf. I run water and blast the radio to cover the sound. My sister comments things like, "How does someone your size eat so much and not gain weight?" My mom answers her with, "It'll catch up with her." My 7 year old brother said the other day, "There's nothing for me and *** to eat cuz **** eats all of our food!" I actually do eat us out of house and home..I eat more than a teenage boy. It's sad because when I think about it, I'm almost sure I wouldn't take it back. Sometimes I get really upset because I see my best friend and how skinny she is without any misery of an eating disorder. I want to tell her, even though I know that she already knows. I just thank god that she doesn't bring it up cuz she doesn't want to start a big controversy. I used to want people to know...sort of to draw attention to me, but now, I would probably be really suicidal if anyone important found out. My friend that does know and is a "new" bulimic often asks me, "You know, it's just a matter of time before people find out, what are you gonna do when they do find out? It's not like you can be bulimic forever." And she's right. About me....and you.