Mel's story Anorexia Nervosa Oakland, California

I became anorexic when I was fifteen. In my family, I always felt like I had taken more than my share and my mother told me that she felt she could never give me enough. I'm the second of three girls, and I have two brothers. I had no outstanding family position and felt as if I had no outstanding trait among my peers. I was in competition with them to be thin, smart, popular. Being thin was the one area I felt I could compete in. This was the beginning of my anorexia. I felt in control of at least something, best at something. But I never felt completely secure at being thin. I had to work on it daily, for fear of gaining weight, for losing self control. Denying myself food was also a reaction to my mother who thought I took more than my share.