Katie's Story Anorexia & Bulimia Nervosa

I am 15 years right now and I have been, I guess you would have to say, a "practicing" anorexic for only about 7 months. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to lose weight. I would make up little charts for myself, but I never could stick to them. About the beginning of 8th grade though, I just couldn't take it. I weighed 126 at 5'3.i know that is not fat, but somehow it seemed HUGE to me.

I never really reached my breaking point though until that May. May 2000,I was at my friends house (she's really tiny and skinny, only 5' and about 90-95 pounds), and we were on a Web site that said enter your height and weight. I entered mine and waited for it to come up. When it did I started to just bawl. It said my BMI was 23.5, and the overweight would have been 25. But it was so close I couldn't hold it in. My friend said she couldn't believe I was fat-she said I wasn't SKINNY, I was just right. But somehow that was a blow to my heart.

About a week later I bought these real cheap diet pills I lost about 4 pounds nothing big. But THEN my best friend told me one day that she had made herself throw up a few times. I was scared but intrigued. SO I tried it. It was hard but so worth it. I didn't do it everyday, only 5-6 times a week. But within 2 months I was still 122. Imagine that, I just ate too much still I guess.

Finally I stumbled on an anorexic CLUB! HOW sick right? Nearly emaciated girls with bony models on their front page. But somehow it was what I needed. I joined and started receiving 100s of tips daily to feed my hunger for anorexia knowledge. I did EVERYTHING I could to find out more. By August of that year my family was already suspecting, I was around 111-112. Still not anorexic but I was loving the way I looked.

The day school started on the 28th I was 109. But for the next 3 months I ate no more than 500-600 a day. I am at a current weight of 101 as of December 12th. I have been to 2 doctors, seeing a therapist next week, and am in danger of becoming admitted to a hospital in Pittsburgh in 2 weeks. My parents are dying, they try to force me and everything in their power. I have not had my period for 6 months. I am dying slowly and all I want is to be normal. I thought anorexia was something I could stop myself from being- I thought it was physical, but now it has a death-hold on me. I love being skinny and it hurts to know I might be in a hospital for Christmas, BUT I WILL NOT! I have the POWER in ME!