Monica's Story Anorexia & Bulimia Nervosa

Hello, I am sharing one of my many poems that I have written throughout my anorexia/bulimia. I was sixteen and now I am thirty four and just starting to feel some recovery.

The Path to Purpose
As I lay her
I fear, I doubt.
I think about
What the past was.
What the present is.
What the future will be.
I question what is my mission? on this great planet? What difference, What purpose? What was the reason for my birth?

I fear
what is to become of me
For I am lost.
I am in search for the light.
Whether it be here
or across the sea
I am longing to find the self in me.

I remember in the beginning,
No encouragement and no independence.
Now, I doubt my knowledge, my talents or my capabilities.
However, I wait for the day that I may recognize
my hidden gifts and express my true self
Freely and soulfully.

I have positive feelings
that the day is nearing.
By trusting in God and having faith
I will have strength to look at the past.
It is all good
and I will learn from my past and my present.

I visualize my wings,
extended in full flight.
As if released from bondage
no longer cramped, no longer curled.
I will fly and be a messenger of good will.

Thank you for this opportunity,
Monica Ibarra-Robbins