No one could make me eat. I starved myself even though I was so weak my legs would buckle out from under me. I was so hungry, but I kept thinking that if I let myself eat even one hamburger, I wouldnÕt be able to stop. IÕd eat until I weighed five hundred pounds. I had to control myself.


When I saw the words "Mental Health" on the hairbrushes they issued us, I realized they thought I was crazy. Twelve years old, and I was in the hospital weighing 39 pounds. My shrink said that I was trying to kill myself. I wasnÕt. I was just determined to disappear. But his remark startled me into eating. Or was it the thorazine? Or was it that I wanted to go home? I just donÕt know.


"Starve" from the series, Eating Disorders in a Disordered Culture, 1997, 40" x28" Computer generated iris print